Oh hi! It’s just me again … I know, I know! I’m 2 days late for posting a blog! Omggg, what a fucking bitch time I had getting here though. Talk about; - wanting to stab myself in the face!! BUT! Better late than never. Forgive me, my loves?! I promise, I’ve made it worth the wait ..well, I hope so! lol!

After an unexpected but amazing reaction I received from the beautiful Author Amo Jones’ last week (bestie showed Amo my blog post about her first book I read and she loved it hehe sweet girl), it only made me want to hurry up and get on to the next book.

So, here I am! I’M BACK BITCHES!! Back to give everyone another orgasm-in-your-panties review about those sex-on-wheels-dirty-no-limits-biker-boys! I can’t seem to get enough of them. OH! And the girls of course!

Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to INTRICATE LOVE – Book Two of the Three set book series. Fucking beautiful!!!

I’ve already done a Blog-Post on Book 1; PERILOUS LOVE <<--- click there to read it if you haven’t. It’s going to be interesting to see how this one goes now. Keeeep going girl!

You know what though?! Let me just start by telling you;- I actually struggled to start the second book at first. I, for the life of me, DID NOT want to leave Zane!! Does this mean I’m cheating on BAE and Zane??!! Haha omg! I giggle as I typed that, ACTUAL. And then I giggled again after I re-read it haha. It sounds so fucking crazy. I haven’t pinched myself yet, to check if I’m in a dream or not. MAYBE I should though??! …it’s all fun and games until the pinch is real because I felt it! – it hurt. So, nope! Not dreaming!

It’s also taken me a lot longer to finish this book as the first one only took me hours not days. I’m pretty sure, my Zane crush is the culprit to blame. In actual fact, I even had to re-read all over again too! The first read, I took too long and I forgot bits and pieces lol. Fuck!

Alright, alright!
SO! It’s all about Vicky (Alaina’s bestfriend) & Blake (we’ll meet him further down, he’s Zane’s SS-MC brother!)… oh, and Jesse for like one second!

Can he hurry up and piss off already!! Fuck Buddies with NO strings attached always gets ruined one way or another. Someone always ends up falling for the other! Of course, it’s no surprise Jesse fell for her! Vicky is a sexy bitch after all! – but she is a strictly No-Strings attached kind of girl! And was only in it for the “D”, which she shares about it being the biggest she’s ever seen! I think she’d be more upset knowing she wont be fucking that beast of a thing again rather than being upset about Jesse, himself. Awww, sorry Jesse but Bye Felicia! Ha!

It’s Spring Break – don’t laugh BUT I had to Google what Spring Break even is… moving on! That fact doesn’t actually matter. Oh…maybe it matters a little because it was during this time when “Girl met Boy”. So, yes! Spring Break matters.

For Vicky, it pretty much means Party & bullshit & party & bullshit, while on holiday at her Mothers’ “large, over the top mansion” that her mum barely spends any time at. So, Party & bullshit are the only applicable things to do in this matter; With one of her favourite bitches!! – Kalie; they’ve been friends since they were little!! & come on now, we’d all be doing the same if that was us haha, well I know I would be, that’s for sure! And you know what?! It wasn’t long before they had found their way to the Local Bar of the town they’re staying in! ha ha something my friends and I use to do, but in our case;- it was our local pub ha ha!

I had to try SO hard to focus on this book, but because I was SO drawn in by Perilous Love, I still struggled. FUCK! I’ve officially lost my fucking mind. I shit you not! Should I skip and skim through? Find me some sex-scene action? Ha ha! Hey! It might help, ya’ never know!

…OKAY! Geez!! I wont skip and skim, I’ll do it the right way and READ the damned thing!

oOoo hold on! I’m getting to a spot that may have just captured my attention…. HELLO BIKER BOYSSSS!!! Woah! Fucking hot specimens! I remind myself that this isn’t Zane’s time to shine. He had his time. Ha! Spose’ I better give someone else a chance…

She’s talking about “Blake Rendon”; sexy biker number 2! Because, lets’ face it – Zane will always be sexy biker number 1!!

ANYWAY, Blake seems intriguing… they all do, but I’m looking forward to learning more about him. I need too! Oh god! Not this again. But I can’t help it! Arrgghhh! Read these books, NOW! You wont regret. AND you’ll see what I mean! He’s big, bad and a straight “FUCK BITCHES, FUCK RELATIONSHIPS” type of guy. He’s domineering. And when he has taken “claim” to something or someone, BLAKE OWNS IT! He will KILL anything that even tries to get in the way!

…”Are you fucking him Vicky?!”
…”I will fucking kill him, Vicky. So I hope that kiss was worth it”
…”As much as I want to rip her fucking head off and fed it to pigs while pissing on her corpse, I like Zane’s idea better” – by the way, the last “Blake-psychopath-threats” made was NOT about Vicky or Alaina. READ the fucking book, so you can know too!!

Uhhh! Blake Rendon! For someone that “hates” bitches and doesn’t do “relationships”, you sure is acting like a crazy inlove, obsessed, possessive psychopath, mate! But you know what?! Am I fucked up for thinking his psychotic side is fucking HOT and just makes him even SEXIER!!!?? The want is unreal! …I must be fucked! Ha! (umm, get that pretty head out’ve the gutter! – I meant in-the-head, not in-the-vagina!!)

I keep reading, now that I’ve got my “flow” going! Is that the right word to use? …too bad, It’ll have to do! You know what I mean. I can’t put it down. Consumption, it is back. And I fucking love it! Ever want to leave reality for a little bit? Amo-Books are the tickets out of here!

As I’m reading (remember I’m not that girl that is going to be the book spoiler), I know, I just know what’s coming next! ! ! and I..AM..EXCITED! I start to read faster, JUST so I can get to the next parts (anyone would think it’s a race, the way I’m carrying on!) – Oh but it is a race! I say to myself….YEP, it has come to that!;- me answering my own thoughts in my mind. CRAZY asf. Lock me away. NOW. But let me take my phone with my Kindle app. on it, that contain my Amo-Books. please…PLEASE!

It’s getting juicy! Umm. Amo!? How did you NOT go crazy in your panties whilst writing the scene I’ve just hit!!!?? Ha ha! Yes! I did just ask the Author about crazy shit happening in her panties. Fuck! I’m just asking what everyone else probably wanted to know! My filter went out the window the day I started to have to expose my vagina to other people. Uhhh – back to the subject. I FUCKING LOVE this sex scene. It’s dirty. It’s intense. It’s a tease. It’s Filthy! Just how I like it girrrrl !

My struggles decided they were losing the battle now and backed off. Fucking hoorayyy! Let me read in PEACE!

So. It is currently 1am and I FINALLY finished re-reading book 2 – INTRICATE LOVE!!! Fuck! I was totally dramatic in the beginning, refusing to give this book, these characters, their stories, a fucking chance! Holy shit! Absolutely WORTH betraying my loyalty to Zane. SUCH an awesome story-line, I LOVE how everything just fits perfectly together, just like a puzzle.

The twists and turns, the fact that Blake had to block out and push away his happily ever after, has got to fucking KILL someone on the inside! Over and over and fucking over. I know I’d DIE. That to me is an ultimate sacrifice! Certainly kept me on my toes!

TOMORROW, I shall start the final book and I am going to go into it without the struggles, me thinks?! Open eyes, open mind! Ha!

Until next time you kinky little pixies!

Keep smiling, Stay happy! xoxox

After what felt like a million painful hours, of trying to think of a name or identity for my new baby I was about to unleash to the big bad world;- Wifey helped me to confirm and lock it in, in the end! At last - “All The Things She Said” (ATTSS) was created, and the excitement was REAL. Let the Blog-Life begin! Ha.

I’m weird and I have this odd’ thing where, if I start a project, it has to go in a certain “process” – and every process for a “Kylie – project” is always different. DON’T ASK why! I don’t even know why lol. So, for ATTSS to continue to grow after birth, I needed to suss’ a cover page image.

I’m a below-the-belt, open-minded, no-filters, dirty-thoughts, loves-reactions, into-weird-intriguing-shit type of girl. SO. I wanted something that had all of those in the mix and some! I didn’t want something created in photoshop or on a computer; fuck that! I wanted something original, something that represents ME (well both Me and an alter-ego of me hehe), my site and my blog.

I started to brainstorm and type shit down, ideas, a billion ideas, a fucking FUCK – LOAD of ideas. Enough to make me want to rip my own hair out (don’t worry, I have a never ending stash of it on my head). Google was my friend for this mission – kind of. Once I sorted through the good and the shitty eggs in the brainstorming basket, my pathway began to slowly make sense. I had the image, the “meaning-of” it all… what I didn’t have was an artist. I mean, I had a couple of people in mind (looking through my Facebook friends, I spot a few faces that I know are fucking talented as far as drawing goes, and they all have different & unique styles), so I PM all of my chosen potentials’, the same message (Lazy haha!) because copy&paste make typing-life easier imo. Ha!

Everyone replied; only one came through though. With a few back and forwards’ messaging and discussing together, combining ideas, WE came to an understanding and both of us were excited to see the end results.

Days and then weeks went by but not without my artist staying in contact with me every step of the way with the progress. Seeing our ideas come to life was incredible. I thought every stage was beautiful, fascinated at the fact that this girl is bad ass, as fuck! Her drawing skills are crazy! Everything I wanted is in this image. Its’ me. It’s raw and real. It goes so fucking well with the name; they actually complement each other. I am definitely impressed! Worth every single dollar spent!!...you didn’t think I expected to get this done for free, did you? Fuck no! I’m not about receiving without giving back!

In the meantime, ….I fuck around with some of the other areas of my site/blog. Waiting, waiting… the climax is insane! I can’t wait to see my piece, completed!

WAIT!
I’m getting distracted from writing this blog at the moment because all I have on my mind is my second book I’m currently being consumed by. All thanks to bestie and Author Amo Jones! “INTRICATE LOVE” is owning me right now! Ahhhhhh!!
 So, excuse me while I just read a couple of chapters, reaaaal quick, PLEASE?! Kthanks.

Alright, alright! Got my fix, for the moment. Where was I?? ..ahh! yes, the climax! Talk about giving me a coronary with all this waiting bizzo’! I’m just way too excited. How can I not be though? See for yourselves, at the stages below! – and while you’re checking them out, I’ll be over there getting some more pages in ;)

...I DID NOT want to stop reading! But one must finish this Blog-post…priorities huh!

ANYWAY - It took a month, maybe a month and a half, close to 2 months by the time my artist had completed the image fully. She emailed the final, completed version of my image piece. Ahhhhhh! I was so fucking excited, that I was too nervous to open the damn thing. I couldn’t believe we had finally reached this point, like actual! This was the end to the beginning of something crazy – beautiful! & I couldn’t wait to share it with the rest of the internet world.

Without making you guys wait any longer, I’d like to introduce to you ALL…

• MY Belladonna, the face of; All The Things She Said.
  

Isn’t she just so beautiful? No fucks’ given if you don’t dig her!! She came out better than I even imagined! I can’t stop starring at her! I almost feel like I’m perving on her because I’m starring so intensely haha. Sitting back, just admiring her, as I can hear my sister playing Tennessee whiskey by, Chris Stapleton in the background; adds to the whole perving feeling lol. And, as if my artist completing this for me wasn’t enough… the good bitch that she is, sent the physical of it to me, framed in the post – I was one happy little asshole, to say the least!!!

I guess I better explain how and why and of that bizzo’ about this beautiful bitch!! (my image piece, silly hehe)

Let me give you a quick look into Belladonna’s bio.

Belladonna is sassy, sexual, doesn’t give a shit about what other people think or say about her (sometimes), she’s pretty much my alter-ego! she rocks a “I don’t give a fuck” attitude. She loves reactions, humans are strange creatures and fascinate Belladonna. She’s weird with more than enough curiosity, I’m surprised she hasn’t killed the pussy..cat, with it yet ;) hehe (don’t be rude!).

Belladonna is in a wheelchair and is displaying that there can still be sexual, kinky, naughtiness, desire with disability!! Yeaaah bitch, disabled people can do awesome shit as well.

Belladonna has her own Bible. Not your average Bible though. Not even close! She doesn’t like to follow rules or things that others try to push on her. She follows and loves her own Bible that contain her own beliefs, rules, morals etc.

Belladonna loves her body, and doesn’t mind being a bit exposed ;), especially when there’s occasions. She wears the headpiece clothing of a Nun; this symbolizes’ her purity when it comes to the male species. She exposes her boobs but always keeps her nipples covered with tape in a cross looking way; it gives her a sense of sexiness and keeps the mind curious.

Belladonna loves piercings, her favourite one is her septum one.

Belladonna has opinions, no filters, profanity outbursts, she’s kind and gentle, she is the face of ATTSS, the cover girl of the site.

Belladonna's name was chosen and only seemed fitting, reason being is because she's pretty much like the plant;- looks are deceiving, sometimes it can be mistaken for other plants due to similarities. It's kind of like, being the alter-ego of the "sweet and innocent, non-deadly plants". In my head this makes sense, so that is all that matters haha!

Belladonna welcomes you all, into the crazy mind of Kylie;- the Owner of  All The Things She Said. Come and read/see life through her eyes, mind, body and soul!
 
Keep smiling, Stay happy <3

It has been a LONG day!!! Mine started at 1am…Yep, you read right! ONE FUCKING AM. Insomnia is a little bitch. BUT, nevermind. Sitting at my table now, listening to, I think, what is slowly but surely going to be my new favourite song; Kehlani’s song called Gangsta. Ahhh. Obsessed!!

Anyway, it’s taken my mind to another place. Got me thinking about the current book set I’m reading. Now, I despise reading books, for various reasons. ie;- memory issues (forget what I’ve just read lol), soooo many words (I end up getting annoyed), no pictures = Kylie pay no attention lol.

BUT!!!! Holy shittttt! My bestie (apart from being better than your bestfriend) has GREAT taste! She told me about a friend of hers that is an Author from her hometown, Rotorua – Amo Jones. Amo writes erotica novels and my bestie told me to check her books out. I was a bit iffy at first, yaknow’ because I suck with my whole non-existent enthusiasm for reading!... Let me say though; Thank FUCK I took the plunge and checked her books out as well as hearing about some of the story-line from the bestie. It wasn’t long AT ALL before I was converted into a little book worm. And, well, that song by; “Kehlani called – Gangsta” is the founder of this blog-post. It fits the book, like it should be the books theme song! Well in my opinion it should.

I couldn’t just buy & download ONE book onto my Kindle app. Fuck no! I needed the book set AND a few of Amo’s other ones as well. Greedy?...hmmm no, more like thirsty or hungry for more. I became engrossed with not only the book, but with its’ characters, the story-line, the sexy/erotic-ness of it all. NO pictures and these bad boys have my FULL attention – unfucking-believable!! I’m impressed haha, it takes A LOT to get me into reading. Come on, I even spent money on the damn things… that, my loves, says a lot!

“Six-foot, roped in muscle, with dark hair that is short but holds up nicely in natural spikes; giving him an edge. Green-hazel eyes, by the looks of it, with a square, strong jaw. He has two sleeve tattoos running up his arfms, one that joins to a tattoo on his neck. Just to top all of that off?! He has the longest, thick, dark lashes you can imagine; AND a damn lip ring. A fucking lip ring!” – This is when I first met Zane Mathews;

“He is the epitome of sexy, alpha biker” – This is no fucking exaggeration either!

Have you ever been so involved, so intrigued with the “story and characters world” that you, like, actually end up in that story, either as one of the characters or just, “there”? Is this what it’s like for like, the “hard-core” readers??

Uhh. I can feel their emotions – Fuck! Am I going batshit crazy?? Amazing how us’ humans can operate aye lol. And well, to be honest – this book, PERILOUS LOVE has done all kinds of that crazy shit to me!

“I was sitting at the bar, trying to find a way to divorce this bitch without putting a bullet between her eyes”; Zane is a bad boy. He takes NO SHIT. And is ruthless as fuck!!! I know I wouldn’t want to be his enemy. He’s not afraid to kill. Infact; he’s more afraid of LOVE. He’s very, VERY domineering. Doesn’t like to be challenged at all, yet; Alaina can & does do just that, and is lucky enough to get away with receiving a special “Zane-shoots-you-in-the-head-bullet”.

This is INTENSE. I reach the sex scenes ...Yesss, sex scenes guys! HELLO, it wouldn’t be an Erotica novel otherwise, even I know that! Please lovelies, get your shit together. OK. Getting back to these sex scenes! They are HOT and they are JUICY! It’s not just a physical attraction, it is an emotional, mental, LUSTFUL, opposites’ attract, almost forbidden type of attraction which is what makes the sex even more seductive and mind blowing!

Less than 24hrs’ and book one was complete – PERILOUS LOVE. Not too bad for someone that doesn’t really read much or at all. AND I didn’t forget what I had just read, not one bit! How could I??! I was hooked from the start. Every time I took a break from it, I was thinking about it! I needed to read more, to find out what Alaina, Vicky and the SS-MC boys were up too! The obsession was real.

Anyone would think I’m cheating on the Bae’ (haha she hates me calling her “the/my Bae”! sooo funny, that’s why I do it, because she hates it), especially the way I’m carrying on about Zane Mathews. I am absolutely fucking blown away and amazed at how attached to, this book, these non-existent people, I am. AND I don’t even like reading haha!
 
SO, am I cheating?? Is it emotional cheating? with fictional characters?! Do I now qualify for the book club? ..are there even such things anymore!?
 
SO many questions!! SO much of the book I want to talk about / share with you guys! BUT, I don’t want to be “that person” that spoils it for those that haven’t read it AND I don’t have time for those at the moment! I’m busy getting swallowed up by the second book INTRICATE LOVE – raw, dirty, domineering; just how I like my books!

…Until next time!

Keep smiling, stay happy
XXX

It is a silent assassin. It takes her down cramp by cramp. It physically cripples her from the inside – out. It is lethal. Brutal. It can in-fact, destroy lives, relationships. This cruel, insensitive, guiltless mongrel doesn’t care about the destruction it causes. It haunts her everyday. Some days, bearable, other days she’d rather me kick her in the balls I think. Pain killers only do so much, the pain never goes away. Surgery helps, but still doesn’t eliminate it all. She is left to “manage” and “cope” with it, as best as she can.

The silent assassin never shows its ugly face on the outside. It’s gutless and hides away on the inside. Causing havoc and slaughtering her, not only destroying her insides, but also taking HER away from herself and the people close to her.
 
Slowly, I started noticing she stopped touching. She was pulling away from me whenever I touched or tried to touch her. We slowed rigghhtttt down on being sexual, even sensual. And everyone who knows us, knows how she couldn’t keep her hands or eyes off of me. I started to lose my confidence. She was always so snappy, negative, angry. I felt useless, I started thinking I wasn’t doing enough to make her happy. Then, eventually… the sex stopped altogether. Was it me?? What was I not doing? Was it cause I’m fat? SO MUCH self-doubt happening! Where was my high-sex-driven-HAPPY-FUNNY-nice girlfriend at??!!! And don’t twist shit, cause it wasn’t the fact that the sex stopped, my thing was WHY?! I would constantly blame myself. I was beginning to feel depressed.
 
I started to feel ugly. Alone. Never good enough. I mean, I tried not to make it about me. It was a really hard time. With no actual answers. Either because, I was too scared to ask questions in-case shehulk came out or, because she’d get really defensive, which then led us to arguing. No matter what I said or did, I was still, always the bad guy lol ..and just so we’re clear, I fucking dreaded period time of the month – the build up gave me anxiety because I knew I was either going to be in the ring with shehulk or with an emotional crybaby (crybaby I could cope with though!). Sometimes, it was nice to get emotional crybaby. She’d be affectionate and would want me to be affectionate back.
 
I would take the piss (joke about) at times; - “well I wouldn’t know what sex is”, “it's like I’m a born again virgin”, or “do you remember what my vagina even looks like babe”, “why do you laugh with that person, but not with me anymore?” …Yeeaaahhh, sometimes my “no filter” needs a filter!!! While I found my piss takes funny, girlfriend, nottttt so much…oopsyyyy! She was not impressed one bit. In actual fact, that just made her feel embarrassed and incompetent. ..way..to..go..Kylie..way..to..go!!
 
I’ll admit, I didn’t quite “get it” in the beginning. I think I actually blamed a lot of it on too much alcohol consumption lol how ignorant was I to do that aye! …alcohol wasn’t helping the situation though! It took me a little bit to “take it all in” and to open my eyes to realise, HOLY SHIT!!! This is actually for real! I knew she was never lying! I think I just fell into the trap of, “if I can’t see it, then it surely can’t be that bad!” – ignorance at its finest.
 
Watching her, hearing her, worried about her!!… I feel helpless. I feel useless. I just want to do more for her. Get rid of all of the yuck shit, and fix her. Realistically though, I know, that can’t and wont happen.
 
So. I stopped. I stopped with all of my “emotional shit”… fuck! Reading above, I look so fucking selfish, I promise I’m not though. I started to learn about it all and listen to her. It’s SO important to listen!! I became more understanding, more aware. She wasn’t seeking sympathy. She just needed me, to listen to her. To not be ignorant. To learn. No problem, I can do that!! It was so much fucking better for the both of us to just TALK and LISTEN. <<-- I cannot stress that enough!!!

FINALLY, having an understanding of it and what it’s doing to her made a HUGE difference! I’ve squashed any self-doubts I had because it’s not about me, at all. And it doesn’t help either of us, our relationship or our situation with this bastard assassin!
 
Who or What is this silent assassin??? It is an incurable disease known as Endometriosis! It can go fuck itself! I want to kick it right in the dick!!! I’m so disgusted and disappointed that this disease isn’t taken more seriously. Just because it can't be seen, doesn't mean it doesn't exist!!!

As a Partner to someone suffering Endometriosis, I’ve learnt to LISTEN. I’ve learnt that it is NOT about me. I’ve learnt to have more respect towards her and not joke about shit that is actually affecting her. I’ve learnt to fuck the ignorance off. I’ve learnt not to react to her grumpy moments, she doesn’t mean to be like that. I try and do whatever I can to help her with all of her aches and pains.
 
I’ve always reassured her about my unconditional love I have for her and that I’m here, right by her side, ALWAYS. Support and patience is a BIG MUST in this situation as a partner to an Endo sufferer as well. Just remember, we are their safe/comfortable zone, that’s why we get it in the throat the most. It isn’t ideal but know, they don’t mean it. Try to ignore it. Don’t let it affect you. It is an extremely HARD road, but if you truly love that person, you’ll take the bad with the good and ride through the shit storm together!!!!

Keep smiling, stay happy <3

I was 12 going 21 at the time. Thought I knew everything. I was doing alright at school, loved being outdoors all the time and roaming the big bad streets of our tiny little town haha! I loved country life but always thought the city was something amazing and that I was missing out..what an idiot lol you and I would always butt heads aye, both control freaks, that’s why; - I reckon anyway.
 
To be honest, I wonder if that “bond” was ever there in the “way” it’s meant to be?! The one that happens at birth, yaknow? (all you mums out there know what I mean). YES, we’ve been through a fuck load of shit together, which naturally molded “our” connection, apart from the obvious lol but I wouldn’t necessarily call it “that” bond. Maybe that could be another reason why we clash at times.
 
BEST EVER though! I’m glad I got you. I’m fucking stoked we chose each other. Wouldn’t exchange or cash you in for anything haha! YOU DA BOMBBB <<-- personal joke ha ha! Even though we fuck each other off from here to beyond words, I would NEVER want anyone else to be it for me!

That day though…
You know I don’t blame you for that day aye. It wasn’t your fault at all!! It was all ME. I thought I could do what I wanted. You told me NO. I can still hear you saying it, even right now!!! It is so fucking clear and LOUD. Not even your empty threats stopped me. God, I was a cunt! “SHUT UP, I’m going, BYE!”; ..slams the door and runs down the road. An actual fucking cunt I was that day!!! & as I write this, I’m actually getting pissed off at ME. Lol.
 
An hour or two later… wait! Was it?? You’ll need to correct me If I’m wrong!
ANYWAY – you got a knock at the door. Not ya’ typical visitor aye. Received the news, and it wasn’t your typical 6pm TV1 news you were use too! This one was too close to home. Infact, it was home…
 
Don’t stress though, cos’ it wasn’t cold down there. Lucky it was a nice afternoon that day, sun shinning bright, Ooohhh yess! That probably kept it warm. I wasn’t scared either. I closed my eyes though, because no one could hear me yelling out from under there. . .

Did you know YOU were the first and only one I asked for once I came back that day after seeing God. YES! I saw him when I thought it was my time. I even saw the Gates and the pretty light. But he didn’t let me in. Instead he sent me back. AND that’s when I asked for YOU! I don’t share that part of my experience with most people though, it’s a special moment for me, but it’s a moment that not many would believe.

Just PLEASE know and believe it wasn’t YOUR fault. It’s time to turn off the replay button. How is the record not fucking broken yet?! You need to give yourself a break! It’s been 17, almost 18yrs now. I know I should’ve listened to you that day but I didn’t and MY actions / MY choices got us all into this LIFE-SENTENCE. All because I DIDN’T LISTEN TO YOU.
 
You know what else ??!! ..this is important! How selfish am I??!!! not once have I said SORRY. Again, what a cunt!!
 
Dear MUM!
 
This letter is for you. I am so sorry I didn’t listen to you that day. To think, our lives would be so fucking different today if I had’ve just LISTENED TO YOU!!! Not sure if, it being different would be a good or bad thing. I’m sorry though Mum, for stripping yours and Dads lives of “normality” for such young parents. For all of the stress, depress, regrets, tears, anger, fears!! For stripping time for my sisters, away from them. I will be forever sorry. I will always be thankful for having you as my Mum. YOU are our rock! Without you, worlds would fall apart. And even though you fuck me right off, I love you and I’m sorry for not apologizing YEARS ago!!!