aarrrggghhhh!! SO. This post almost didn’t happen. It’s SUPER fucking late though. Well and truly past its’ meant-to-be scheduled time – which, is irritating the shit out of me right now! I’ve been doing so well with consistency lately!
Today though, today has been, what feels like the longest, dragging day in the world. I’m guessing it felt like that because I had to take my Rivotril drops this morning due to spasms -_-, bye bye human Kylie and HELLO zombie Kylie! & then Kate didn’t read her book that I had custom made for her straight away, the prick, which made me sad. Add some HANGRY in the mix and holy shit, ya got yourself a poison ready to explode! – the stupid muggy heat doesn’t help either.
BUT. Then this happened. . .
& now food has been ordered, so I'm happy! and wifey (yup, we’re not on first name bases anymore) will pick it up in 30mins. Woohoooo! But I’m not here to blog about any of my “today’s shananigans” or her & I (well, her & I are involved but we’re not main-topic, yaknow!?)
BACK ON TRACK . . .BACK ON TRACK!!!
This is a tracing of a hand. But it’s not just a tracing of the hand. It’s the tracing of a hand that has seen and been many places, touched many things that none of us could ever imagine, hurt and been hurt in a million different fucked up scenario’s, yet loved with the tightest, most gentle holds. This hand has so much love to give.
This hand has made many mistakes. This hand has had to protect herself in more ways than we could comprehend. This hand has been used to help herself escape the awfulness of her realities, in more ways than one. This hand has caught a fuckload of her tears.
This is not just a drawing of a hand. This is a hand that has never ending stories to tell, & probably a thousand hidden ones that will never be told. This is a hand that has had an abundance of sadness. It is the hand that has been through a life of on & off turmoil, yet it is the hand that held hands with two beautiful souls that could once hear her heart beat from the inside.
This is a tracing of a hand that craves for a second chance, that craves to be loved. This is the hand that writes letters to me from a Prison in Texas, USA, who has now become a very good friend.
OMG OMG! I JUST HAD AN IMPOSTER!!! Sitting here, minding my own business and then I caught a glance of, what looked like SPIDER LEGS :|, on the top of my laptop lid!! FUCK! I know right! I fucking died!!!! I moved FAR away from said laptop! Kate had to cut her toilet time short and come save me.
BUT! I told her not to kill the imposter… *squishhh* DEAD :| , maaaatee!!!
Btw. It wasn’t a spider! It was a grasshopper :/ fucking alien things!
ANYWAY - Back on track!...AGAIN omg!
Did you know you can write to prisoners overseas? Like, a complete stranger? AND you can find them ONLINE!? Wtf! #blesstheinterweb! All kinds of cool shit can be found online. Also, you can be really specific about who you want to correspond with – Gender, Crime, Age, Ethnicity, Religion, Interests etc. Cool asf. right?! FUCK YES!
When I was introduced to it all, straight away I was on the hunt for a Murderer or someone on Death row or some kind of fucked up psychopath – because that’s what we all look for in life, right?
I had no luck in any of those departments though, dammit! #LifeStruggles
I gave up looking for a while. Kate carried on writing to hers, like she has done for the last 9 months, then one day she told me “D” (her Pen-friend) had said in her letter that her Cell mate wanted to write to me. FUCK YES! I jumped (not literally, I’m disabled, Geez! Don’t be so rude! ^,^) at the opportunity to write her. I mean, she wasn’t a moiderer or psychopath, but to my surprise, I didn’t care!
Having a Pen-friend to write too, that’s from another country is exciting enough! BUT, to have one that is in prison intrigues me. Maybe it’s because I haven’t lived or seen life from the way they have? Maybe it’s because we live on the C.I channel? Maybe it’s because I’m nosey? – because, I’ll be honest, I’m so nosey lol I like to ask the shit that everyone’s thinking but never says, yaknow?! I don’t know? But for whatever reason, this prisoner writing shit has me excited! And if it helps or gives her something to look forward to whilst being inside, then I am all for it! Plus - I love the new, found friendship!
We write regularly, sometimes it takes me longer than it should because I fuck around and again QUEEN OF PROCRASTINATION – I’m ya girrrlll!
We talk about everything! I tell her about my life as well as NZ & she’ll do the same about America. She has one million photos of all kinds of beautifuls! From different places in our country to lots of nature (our country is so pretty), our fur babies, ducks and weeping willow trees (they’re Tamra’s favs!), & of course ourselves – ha ha selfies wasn’t my favourite but whatevs.
Conversations are endless. & for me, I don’t even think of her as a “Prisoner” anymore. She’s just a person with a past that is trying to break free from it all, who has become a really good friend! We even have skype or FB video calling dates in the plans once she’s home, HA! we’re just a bit excited about that.
I feel kind of honoured in some ways really, because she has dug, deep into her past and pulled out some of her darkest demons & moments to share with me. At the end of the day none of us shit glitter, we are all people & we all bleed the same colour!
I will continue to keep writing to Tamra, share & swap stories, parts of our lives, shits & giggles, interests, photos, books, art, music, vulnerable moments & whatever else we want! The world is our oyster, doesn’t matter about the situation or circumstances, it’s how we choose to respond to what the universe throws at us!
I don’t know about everyone else, but I choose to GRAB IT BY THE BALLS and LIVE...the way I want. And I’m pretty sure, I can hear Tamra saying; FUCK YEAHHHH!!! In her Texan accent.
When we finally do meet in virtual reality, our worlds will collide, be the same yet completely different. & she’ll be on the other end sipping on her beer with her amazing and loving Girlfriend that she plans on finding! She will be happy and her life will be filled with the peace and the love that she has longed for! & she will be free.
Be open-minded before you judge. That’s all I’m saying.
Stay happy, Keep smiling! X
P.S – remember I spoke about ordering dinner?!... I’ll just leave this here – because, FML! $86.00, MAAATEEE!!!