I know, I know! We still don’t know what happened to me, right? RIGHT.
so many questions??! Who told mum?? Who, what, where, how, why?! BUT. before you carry on! make sure you've read part 1.
For the first time ever, you’ll get to read about, not only my version of this but my mothers’ side as well!
FYI – I apologize in advance in case of any mindfucks you may endure during this read. It’s like my mind was glitching or ticking in and out. One minute I’m in one place doing something and then, less than a minute later I’m in a different place doing something else. I wasn’t myself ya see ha ha!
Meanwhile; Mum, only 29yrs old at the time, was about to deal with one of the most fucked up things of her life!
I remember seeing a lady standing at the doors, holding one side open ---BUT! I could also be completely wrong; I mean, I was fucked up! I could’ve been looking at a brick wall and thought it was a lady standing at the door.
However, my gut tells me I’m right about seeing a lady, so that’s what we’ll go with!
“I’m in shock! After the visit from Milton W. with the news of Kylie having an accident, I’ve just been told my daughter has a broken leg but will be out tomorrow. She’s being rushed to Gisborne Hospital by helicopter. I thought nothing of it at the time. I watched the helicopter leave. In a panic, I raced home to tell my husband the news ---he had to stay back at home with our two younger children, so my sister Lisa and Mum drove me straight to Gisborne hospital.
The usual 35 – 40min drive from Tolaga to Gisborne felt like the longest drive ever!!”
After seeing a lady; it was in and out of consciousness for me ---in my mind, anyway! Meaning; I was probably unconscious during the entire thing but, my mind has made me believe I was going in and out of it. Whatever it was;- I experienced some crazy shit.
It’s almost like I’m in a movie, watching different scenes of it all. But, I still don’t know WTF is going on!
“Kylie was already being worked on by the time I got there. I didn't get to see her straight away. The waiting game was a silent killer.
The shock & fear was definitely still there! In fact, it's in full force! I just hope my kid is okay back there."
*Am I squinting? I feel like I am?! My eyes feel like they’re trying to open. I feel like I’ve been trapped in the dark for the last 75,000 years. Everything is blurry. Bright but, blurry! yaknow, that bright but blurry feeling you get when the sun is too strong for your eyes to handle.
It stays blurry. And I continue to fade in and out of scenes…sometimes, they’re not all visual, sometimes they’re physical or emotions.
“FUCK! What the fuck is that feeling??!”
It hurts. And this time, it’s not my eyes, it’s my head!! WTF is it!? I’m yelling at her. could be a him but in my blurry vision it looks like a female. I’m yelling for whoever it is, to PLEASE STOP PLEASE!
Why isn't she fucking stopping!!?
It’s so painful. Ew! My tongue is hanging out of my mouth…at least, that’s what it feels like to me. but my head is still in pain. It looks like she’s smiling at me?! WTF!? Don't smile at me bitch!! Just STOP HURTING ME!!!
The only other way of explaining the feeling is ;- something was being forcefully twisted into my skull and there’s a sick bitch, smiling at me, doing it. AND IT'S NOT OKAY!!!
My mind is scattered though. So many fucking questions right now ;-
What is that pain, like actual?
Why is my tongue out of my mouth AND why the fuck does it feel like I look like a dead animal??
Why is the doctor or nurse not putting my tongue back in my mouth?
Is my tongue actually out??!
Why aren’t they stopping??
Can’t they hear me yelling?
Like, I literally have nothing.
And, I don't even know it.
“tell me straight! ---
“I told the Doctor not to sugar-coat anything! And again, I said; IS MY DAUGHTER GOING TO MAKE IT THROUGH THE NIGHT OR NOT?!
"- I’m sorry but there is a very high chance she might not make it through the night…"
“I’m in absolute SHOCK!”
“We both are!!”
“Devastation doesn’t even explain this shit”
“As a Mother, seeing my daughter who is barely a teenager in such a way is heart breaking. I feel helpless. I’ve let her down."
“Family & Friends gathered at the hospital; Loma & Mike, Bill, Pare, Mum, my sisters…just to name a few”
“Again, HOW IS ANY OF THIS REAL?!”
“I'm watching them, one by one they go in to see her.”
“So much pain. Tears that won't stop falling and my daughter...lying there...in a coma...and there’s nothing I can do.”
“I wonder if she can hear her, Aunty Loma praying over her.
I wonder if she can hear or feel any of us around her."
Artist: @visceral_photography (Jess)
“I was 29yrs old at the time and in six words; - LIFE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME.”
(See you next Monday for Part 3)