“She survived the night! But it wasn’t over yet! In fact, shit had just begun...
And, I know! You guys want answers. But, it's not time yet; - Kylie was still in her coma, Mark & I had limited time to organize ourselves AND our two younger kids, who at the time were only 4 & 5 (Dale & Hope)
Due to the seriousness of Kylie’s injury, Gisborne Hospital did not specialise in whatever she needed. This meant, we were being sent to Auckland, to Star-ship Children’s Hospital.
Unfortunately, that also meant, Mark and I had to leave Dale & Hope back in Tolaga Bay with my sister and her family.
we tell her?
WHEN was it ever
going to be
the right time?”
---BEFORE going any further, go back in the blog to >> PART 1 & >> PART 2. THEN, come back here and carry on! Otherwise the story won’t make sense---
What’s that beeping sound??! It sounds close by! And it needs to piss off because it’s awful and I hate it!
So, there's a beeping sound and now I'm beginning to hear voices?! I can't call out though; - remember, there's a foreign object in my mouth, what is it!? I also can't lift my head to see, actually! I'm not even sure if I can move?! "Maybe they've purposefully made it so I can't move?!"
Right! I do know that,the only things managing to work at the moment, are my eyes...and I don't even know if I'd call them "working" though, but hey! they're open, so that's a start ha!
Now, I can also hear footsteps...
They're getting closer and closer... and suddenly, the peachy colour closed in on me and turned black and a person appear above my face.
"Hi Kylie, I'm Rachel, I'm your nurse"
“You are in ICU, in Star-Ship Children’s Hospital, in Auckland”
...ummm WHAT!?? (btw - "Rachel" is the name I have ALWAYS called this nurse, ever since I could "remember". For all I know, her name could've been Marilyn Munroe and I'd still think it was Rachel haha!) - it's true. - back to the story.
I’m NOT in Gisborne hospital???
Where’s my Mum & Dad?!
Of course, these questions are all in my head because I'm not actually able to speak. **again, foreign object is still in ones’ mouth!
...But, imagine waking up in an unfamiliar place, all alone and you can't even speak - how does this make you feel, right at this very moment?? because, it took me back to my moment of it. It feels heavy rn. if I let myself, I can be right there, in that bed, doing THAT moment, all over again...right now!
but, mehhhh aint nobody got time for that, ha! (keep in mind - I'm TWELVE)
“I know you can't talk right now, but blink once if you can hear me...”
I blink once...
“Gooood”, she says.
“I'll call your parents and let them know you're awake and want to see them, okay?!”
...again, I blink once more, indicating YES, GET THEM!!!
Oh my god! How long have I been asleep for, I wonder!??...
I'm not sure when or how long it took, but they arrived!! and, I remember feeling an overwhelming sense of happiness. I couldn't quite express how happy, because I was a bit...busy being…filled with tubes and what not. yaknow’ nothing too major. Ha!
My memory is a little █████blank with in-between █████details, and as I said already; all I could do was blink, BUT, that was more than enough for both Mum and Dad! It was the first REAL show of me being “back”. and, you know what?!
My Dad, he's a funny human, I remember this moment SO vividly! it was one of the first things he said to me, and it’s never left my memory.
Dad leans over and whispers in my ear;
“We need to brush your teeth, your mouth smells like a shithole AND your ass has been farting up a storm!"
...DAD!! REALLY!!? ha ha!
um HELLOOO! There’s a 50ft foreign thing in my mouth for starters AND I was pretty much on deaths' bed and that's the FIRST thing you say to me!!! I feeeeel the love Dad, I really did! ha ha!
“You’ve also been getting visits from Brian and his family too, Ky”
“And, Caroline and James saved you, Ky”, Dad whispered to me…
I was so overwhelmed. Brian, my school buddy! Visiting me even when I wasn’t conscious – he’ll always hold a special place in my heart. And Caroline & James, my forever heroes! (you can’t read about them yet! We gotta get through these boring parts first)
With the teeth-brushing comment, those last two whispers are SO vividly etched into my memory. I’ll never forget.
"We can remove this from your mouth shortly Kylie", says another nurse. - Yaay! because I'm getting sick of this blinking shit! I want my voice back!!!
The only thing I remember from this part was, the tube coming out of my mouth. It felt like a never-ending sausage regurgitating out…I could feel it sliding up through my throat tunnel. I started to wonder when it was actually going to stop!
**side-note: remember, I’m dramatic as fuck! so it was probably short haha**
I still can't talk?! Even though the tube is out?! Talk about ripped off! Ha ha!
Something to do with the length of time it was in there for AND it must’ve slightly scraped somewhere on the way out as well. I believe this because, it felt like a HUGE sausage, I shit you not.
I can’t remember how long it took before I found my voice again though?!
What I do remember, is being really thirsty and asking for a drink but the nurse told me I wasn’t allowed.
I didn’t understand why I couldn’t?? why was I being deprived of liquid!!? Instead, I was given an ice cube to suck on. A fucking ice-cube?! Are you serious!? Umm. does she even know I'm Maori?? & we LOVE our food & drink?! haha
BUT, due to swallowing and filling THREE QUARTERS of my lungs with water – which by the way, was river/ocean water; it meant, I wasn't allowed to drink any liquid or even consume solid food.
My lungs weren't drowned with sea water, however! I did drown them with river water, which somehow saved me or was better than the sea water? or something. ha!
Whichever way it went, I’m one lucky girl!!! That shit could’ve killed me. I know I’m an all-or-nothing kind of person, but shiiiitttttt…really. And, I swear something, or someone was on my team that day because... the way the tide was going, it had floated me towards the bridge rather than out towards the river - mouth which was the opening to the ocean!
Photo credit: Louisa Cole (My Cuz xx)
Food was the same, I wasn’t allowed to eat. I was made NBM - yup, good ole’ Nil-By-Mouth. I was still being fed, don’t worry! It was just in the form of a certain thick shake going through tubes. I remember the choice of flavours - vanilla, banana or strawberry…I feel like lime was a choice too, but I’m not 100% sure.
And, the tube they inserted the shake into was the one, in my nose. I felt a slight coldness in the tube every time it was shake time.
Pain wise; I didn’t have much. But I was on a cocktail of meds – which is where the tube in my chest came into play. My “Central line” is where all meds were inserted. Morphine became my regular “go-to” relief.
Oh AND just for an overshare cos that’s what I do 😊 – the vag tube I mentioned… yeah, that had a purpose too -_- , it was so I could pee. Catheter is its’ identity… interesting.
Beeping sounds, tubes galore, Nurses, Doctors, poking & prodding - day in, day out!
This went on for a bloody week! I WAS OVER IT!!! I didn't realize it was that long! Time fly’s when you’re lying on your back and you can only look up or side to side with your eyeballs.
I don't remember leaving the ICU unit either... It kind of feels like I went like, █████ blank █████ again...
This is where I love & leave you all for now 😉
PART 4: MONDAY (hopefully) – Writing these, I’m finding as I go further & further, it’s actually really draining because, 1) I’m having to remember & think hard about the events that took place. 2) I’m re-writing the parts a few times before publishing cos, maaan! Shits crazy lol and it’s a trippy feeling, kinda’ re-living these moments. So pleaseeee bare-with me if I’m not always on time with these XX