The topic of death, even the slight mention of the word, terrifies majority of us. Having to come face to face with our own mortality is not the most ideal thing to do – because I think I’d rather have a tea party with big giant spiders! But, spiders don’t drink tea or have parties.
So, here I am, reminded of the one promise in life that is kept – “DEATH”
Oh look, even my little Harvest is hanging out while I write about this shit! He seems SO interested, doesn’t he…
ANYWAY – with death comes an obituary. The notice of death – Don’t worry though, because, I’m not dead, BUT! This is My Obituary (you’ll know what I mean as you read further on), not my death, not today. Just, my own obituary, written by yours truly. I’m a bit weirded-out about it & even though I’m the biggest pussy when it comes to morbid things, I’m still drawn to & intrigued by… well, morbid things! – because, morbid things are, well, intriguing!
Is writing your own obituary, morbid though??
uhhh, WAIT! – Do you even know where to find an obituary?? It is the little strip you find in the back of the newspaper providing you with information about deaths and stuff. They’re also found online – which doesn’t surprise me, as you can literally find EVERYTHING online these days.
I don’t like to read them, so I honestly didn’t know where to find it until bae’ told me, ha! OH. and, at least now, I know where to find & put one, when needed.
AND, SO - Apparently, it’s important… this… obituary stuff? & it’s apparently, important to put great care & thought into all detailed information needing to be conveyed about the deceased. It can be a painful thing to have to do, but in saying that, I suppose it could be a healing one too.
BUT!? What I’d like to know is – How the fuck does a person’s life fit into a few sentences or paragraph’s? ! I don’t do “formal” either! unless I REALLY have too. Formal is just not my style, yaknow?! Like, “rules”, pffttt! I don’t do those either. Oh fuck. And don’t even get me started on the dry, ugly, plain font as well! Why can’t we have choices? Varieties? Colours? Come on now, it’s like the world of colour & technology not just black & white anymore! Someone needs to sort this shit.
OKAY! I know it’s only for the newspaper and spaces & pages are limited BUT. That’s not the point.
So, ya see, I was all for collecting info. on the “how to’s / where to’s” etc. for the process of writing an obituary, buuuut then I changed my mind and decided to just get straight into writing my own! Sorry guys. Just do what I did – Google that shit!
So, in my twisted little glittery mind, I’m like, fuck it! I personally, hate the thought of one of my loved ones’ being lumbered with mine when it’s my time. I wana… I’m going to do it my way! I’m too much of a control-freak to not write my own obituary! Plus, no offence to my loved ones – but they’d make mine, too “lovely”, too “nice” ha ha! It’s just better if I do my own!
Arrgghhh! Death or “after” death is hard work! SO MUCH to take in, to sort out, to organize, the processes of things etc.
We can’t just be dead and that’s the end of it all – because, even after death, we’re annoying. Our loved ones are left to pick up the pieces of what was once our life and everything else that comes with a death. “Bills, Obituary, personal items, assets, EVERYTHING! …We can’t just be dead and that, be the end of it all.
Don’t forget, we grieve in amongst all this chaos! But, I don’t want grieving during or after my time. Why does it have to be so sad? Why can’t it be funny? Or a piss-take? Death doesn’t always have to be a moment of tears & whaling.
Just be like Harvest & chilllll :)
All of his cuteness was toooo much!! - But, maaaate! get off my lappy!
ANYWAY – my two attempts. Look, I tried to be as formal as poss. Didn’t go to well huh?! But that is as formal as I’m willing to take it. & even that was hard!
Obvs. this one is a piss-take. But look how boring it is, in plain old black & white.
& then there’s this one! Much, MUCH closer to truth & reality. AND soooo pretty, right? Doesn’t matter if it’s not as easy to read, just squint harder or zoom the fuck in! – because, everything is a fashion parade! This isn’t fashion but, just don’t ruin my parade, okay!?
OMG!! ha ha MAJOR typo* - Married in 2020 is sooo wrong on so many levels ha ha! it's supposed to say 2012 dammit! :/ I'm so annoyed!
What would you want your obituary to say? Have you ever thought about that? Too morbid for you to think about? Too, “process-eee” to deal with? Or, just WTF!? Why would you bother?!
Stay safe, Keep smiling! X