I have removed the food section. I couldn’t keep up with logging each meal/foods lol & I’m sorry! #cantkeepup
I don’t workout until 8pm tonight. It’s only 5.30 atm & I’m already trying to talk myself out of doing it.
i apparently have legitimate reasons?!
im on my period
im sore from being on my period
im moody cos of my period
i’ve got a sore back & sore fucking tummy
im spasmy cos I don’t have my meds
im still in aches from last nights workout.
none of those are legit at all😅🙄
I had a lunch date with my Kate yesterday (1/6/20) at Breakers. I was mindful about what I should & should not be eating whilst looking at their menu. I was in no way strict on myself, at all. I had no regrets either, with my choices. I enjoyed every bit. Portions we reasonable, not overboard at all. I didn’t self-hate afterwards like I usually do.
i didn’t over-indulge like I usually would.
i was actually happy with my food intake yesterday. Also trying out Keto bread from Countdown— ahhhh. $10 wtf🙄🖕AND it’s umm lol an acquired taste, man! I’m still trying to “acquire” lol
fuck. So, tomorrow I’m going to weigh myself... thought I’d be an adult & book that shit in, I guess once it’s done, then it’s DONE! I was alright yesterday (Monday) after booking an appointment, BUT! Today makes it ONE day away 😅😕 and now it’s less than 24hrs away... like I said, FUCK! Lol
AND, my Kate is coming with... eeeekkk!
I’m so embarrassed & nervous.
Also, I remembered to get the weight of my chair. I must be business aye. Like, actually?!
time to face the scales & numbers girrrrllll!
watch this space.
I . Fucked . Up!
& I actually thought I was prepared. NOPE! Not for what went down that's for sure lol epicccc fail!
Started off by chilling with one of my closest friends for the day ... we decided to have a sesh with MJ ---this was the beginning... I just hadn't seen the bigger picture yet.
Munchies eventually kicked in :/... this is where, brain lost all rational thoughts. All things healthy & good left the fucking building! & took my rational thinking brain with it.
Healty food & portions, where? Who? What?!
box made chocolate moist cake with buttercream icing, chip & dip and for dinner, fish & chips :/
We were so fucking sick after the cake. Few hours later, another MJ hit & boooom! Ready for dinner! Fml!
So much regret & guilt once it came to bedtime.
1. I failed myself
2. Guilt & regret stayed the night
3. Negative thoughts process
My first fuck up for this for 2020.
Dear diary, who the fuck exercises on New Year’s Day!?
ME!!! I fucking did! Not gonna lie, I was so close to NOT doing any type of exercise today. I mean, I had an amazing nights sleep —like, I literally passed out 30 minutes before seeing the new year in lol fuck sakes, that’s annoying! Point is, I wasn’t sleep deprived. So it wasn’t that. I let something small, change my mood (I was petty as fuck tbh. Sorry Mother!). I held that mood and didn’t get over myself🙄, which almost resulted in me not exercising.
BUT, I did it bitch! I know it was only 22minutes & 44seconds, but I still did it!
& I’m glad I did. Before starting, I felt guilty for almost bailing. Plus, I knew by exercising, it would get rid of my ugly mood.
I felt like I was gonna spew part way through & my first thought was “woohoo I can stop!” 😕 nice try bitch haha! I forced myself to carry on. Did I die? FUCK YES!
did I survive? HELL YES!!!
A little sweat or pain won’t kill me.
& even though it was only 22 minutes and 44 seconds, I still did it!!!
p.s - I hope you’re ready for tomorrow bitch😅🤭
NO! I did not fail before even starting! That theory can fuck off :) I had every intention to get my shit started at the beginning of the week BUT (& you’re going to think this is such a stupid reason) the weird o.c.d side of me was like, FUCK NO! there’s no way you can start a new week with 2 days of 2019 still clinging on! It wasn’t making sense. So I waited for the 1st. & I’m glad cos I don’t think I was completely mentally prepared tbh. so the extra 2 days, helped!
there was no stress or pressure! :)
p.s - I’m onto DAY 3, bitches!!
Woohoo! My first entry. The thing is, I’ll keep this one short & simple —I haven’t done body stats YET. Couple reasons. With it being the festive time of year, it’s hard to organise times & places etc. I could actually wait until the 20th of January because that is when I have an appointment with the dietitian. But I don’t want to wait, I feel like that’s just giving me an excuse to not do it right now Or at least before the 20th.
and the other part of me still so very scared.
scared of the judgement, the “behind my back laughs”, scared of the truth, scared to confirm I’M FAT.
I do plan on doing it sometime next week though.
should be interesting to see how it turns out.
p.s - if I get it done, I can move the fuck forward!