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1986, April 29th – Remember this date, because it’s important. It is the year, the month, and the day, I popped out of the mighty Vagina (sorry mum... well, kinda!). It’s mighty because I was a whopping 8lb 1oz baby 😲 OUCHHH!!! I was cute asf. though ^,^ so that’s all that really matters, right?
Perfect little mix of Maori and European.
Perfect little Taurus.
Perfect little bundle of crying joy!
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I mean, come on now! just look at me ;) ↓↓
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Oh, HEY! I was born in Gisborne Cook Hospital, NZ, by the way! (google that shit! cause, well, I can't be doing alllll of the work here, guys!)

AND I was also a kid that grew up in a cute little house, located in a tiny little town, you might’ve heard of it? - TOLAGA BAY (Google it or sit back and read further through my life’s chapters, you'll find something about the place, somewhere in here!). I’m a country girl at heart, there’s no doubt about that!
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I share this day with a very special little keepsake as well! ---Maggie May!
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Isn't HE adorable!? My Nan bought him for me. My very first stuffed toy! *thanks Nan! I love Maggie May! My #day1 bitch!  #dontevenquestionhisgender&name #cosidontevenknow #myNanisbetterthanyoursHEHE!
MORE Kylie related facts??? OK - The Parentals' responsible for such a perfect little bundle??! Mum (Karen, also the owner of the M.V) & Dad (Mark). They were newbies to the parenting world. Well, not just *newbies*, but young as well. Age is just a number, right?! RIGHT.

VERY mature Mum, with her priorities in all the right places and an extremely hard working Dad, who’d been working on the crayfish boat since the age of 14 – the maaaaaannnn!! They both, always made sure I had everything.

HOWEVER (yes, there’s always a however or a but LOL), when little ole’ me graced the world with my presence, the owner of the mighty vagina (my Mum – again, sorry about the M.V name… well, kinda haha), wasn’t so good. In actual fact, Mum was dealing with postnatal depression – she thought she didn’t like me very much, at the time.

DON’T; - laugh, mock, judge or blame. It’s no one’s fault, this shit is REAL and it’s SERIOUS! It’s also common. It is definitely something that needs to be addressed and dealt with, with help from professional's.

Don't worry! Once the P.D subsided, my Mum fell in love  with me <3 (well, I think that's how the story went haha – so, we'll just go with it!?).

All in all, the  M.V delivered, Mum made it out safely and the world (family and friends) get to chill and grow up with Kylie Johnette (oh, that's ME! Just incase you missed the memo :p)

PS – yes! The “mighty vagina” is totally necessary!!! That shit spits out humans. And that, my friend, is why it is a mighty vagina!!! Your mum has one too, so chilllllll :)
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All The Things She Said.
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  • KYLIE.
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